Star Wars: YuGiOh Style Episode 3
by Gym Master Alex
Summary: After two years, it's time for the next of the Star Wars: YuGiOh Style series!


**STAR WARS: Yu-Gi-Oh Style**

_Disclaimer: I DO NOT own Yu-Gi-Oh, Star Wars, or Lightsabers. I wish I did…_

_CAST OF MAIN CHARACTERS:_

_Anakin Skywalker/Darth Vader: Yami Yugi _

_Padmé Amidala: Téa Gardener  
_

_Obi-Wan Kenobi: Joey Wheeler  
_

_Count Dooku/Darth Tyranus: Pegasus J. Crawford (I had to change it. Once you read Episode 4, you'll understand)  
_

_Emperor Palpatine/Darth Sidious: Yami Bakura  
_

_Mace Windu: Seto Kaiba  
_

_Yoda: Solomon Muto (Grandpa)  
_

_General Grievous: Yami Marik  
_

_Commander Cody: Marik Ishtar  
_

_Bail Organa: Odion  
_

_Chewbacca: Ryo Bakura (A man of few words… lol)  
_

_R2-D2 & C3PO: Themselves (since they didn't have much of parts in the last one)_

**YU-GI-OH  
**

**Episode III**

** REVENGE OF THE BLINTH**

**Wackiness! The Republic of Duel Monsters is crumbling under attacks by the strange Blinth Lord, Count Dooku. There are people on both sides. Crazy people are everywhere.**

**In a miraculous move, the fiendish and strange General Grievous has swept into the RODM capital and kidnapped Chancellor Palpatine, leader of the Big Senate.**

**As the Separationist Card Army attempts to flee the big capital with their annoying hostage, two Blakeye Knights lead a desperate mission to rescue the still annoying Chancellor….**

_Two card-shaped fighter things are flying and zooming around, while the camera chases them wildly in a way a normal camera can't do. Or, maybe you're just blind. Anyways, Anakin (Yami Yugi) and Obi-Wan (Joey) are piloting them._

Obi-Wan: I can hardly tell our shots in this upside-down space battle scene!

Anakin: Or, is it right side up?

Obi-Wan: Questioning the laws of physics is a path to the Dark Side, Anakin.

Anakin: Yeah, whatever. I turn later in the movie, anyways.

Obi-Wan: What?

Anakin: Uh- I mean, look! I'm dizzy! _(vomits)_

_So, the card-shaped fighter thingamawhatsits fly towards the cruiser, shaped like a giant Millennium Eye, so they can rescue Supreme Chancellor Palpatine._

Obi-Wan: Oh NOS! The shields are still up!

Anakin: _(wakes up)_ HUH! WHAT! IS THE WAR OVER! DID WE WIN!

Obi-Wan: In order, I don't know, the shields are still up, the war isn't over, and we haven't lost yet.

Anakin: Oh, yeah. Sorry. _(Shoots down shield generators)_

Obi-Wan: Funny, the shield generators are on the OUTSIDE of the ship…

Anakin: Yeah, it's pretty stupid. It's like an ancient artifact being hung on a chain around your neck.

_And so, our two wacky heroes land inside the Eye and begin dispatching robot Duel Monsters. A little while later, they find Chancellor Adolf Hitler, and dispose of him as well. After that, they find the Chancellor they are looking for, trapped in a comfy chair._

Palpatine: Help! I'm obviously trapped in a comfy chair!

Obi-Wan: I hope you have snacks under it!

Palpatine: Oh no, look. There's Darth Tyranus.

Anakin: I thought he was called Count Dooku.

Obi-Wan: Well thanks a lot, Lucasfilm…

Dooku: I am obviously Lord Tyranus, look at my conveniently placed red lightsaber in my hand! (_fumbles around with buttons on the lightsaber, and finally gets to turn it on)_

Obi-Wan: Well that was absolutely disgraceful. Observe a master at work… _(hits wrong button on lightsaber)_ Wait, I've almost got it… _(hits another wrong button, and a steel pole pops out of the lightsaber, and hits Obi-Wan in groin)_ AH! I have a bad feeling about this! _(falls over in pain)_

Anakin: Well, that was odd. Shall we fight? _(turns on lightsaber)_

Dooku: For sure, Ani-boy… Now you shall face me, as a stunt double!

_And so, the two leaped into an epic duel in which my computer words cannot describe. After a bit of clashing shiny blue and red toothpick things, Anakin cuts off the hand of Count Dooku… or Lord Tyranus… whoever the hell he is…_

Dooku: AHAHAHAHAHAHAHA! You have only cut off my hand!

Anakin: _(cuts off Dooku's other hand)_

Dooku: AHAHAHAHAHAHAHA! You have only cut off both of my hands!

Anakin: _(cuts off Dooku's legs)_

Dooku: Oh…

Anakin: Well, that was the fight? You should've been killed in between the episodes. All right, we'll call it a draw. _(puts lightsaber back on belt) _ Come on, Palpatine, I'll pick up Obi-Wan and we can get out of here.

Dooku: Oh, I see, running away, eh? YOU YELLOW BASTARDS! COME BACK AND GET WHAT'S COMING TO YOU! I'll… bite your kneecaps off… br

_After a slight reference to the magnificent film_ Monty Python and the Quest for the Holy Grail_, our heroes and unknown villain make their escape, only to run onto the stage where General Grievous lies_.

Grievous: Well, it seems that you've finally wandered onto my set!

Obi-Wan: Damn stage directions…

Grievous: Okay, so here's the deal. Give the Chancellor to me, and I will kill you and take your lightsabers to add to my ultimate collection of Star Wars memorabilia!

Anakin: I have a counteroffer. We'll sell you the lightsabers for 5 easy payments of $999,999.95!

Grievous: You know in this universe we only accept RODM credits! Besides, why was that last digit a 5?

Anakin: Uh…

Grievous: GUARDS! KILL THEM FOR THEIR LACK OF REPETITION!

_In a short battle sequence, we miss the opportunity to show how much of a badass General Grievous is.  
_

Grievous: _(coughs and wheezes)_

Anakin: Whoa, man. Are you okay?

Grievous: Yeah, I am. Just a bad allergic reaction to rooms.

Anakin: That's nothing. The size of the corns on my feet is huge.

Grievous: That bad?

Anakin: Oh, yeah.

Grievous: That reminds me, I need to run like a coward, further illustrating that I'm not a badass! _(runs away)_

_And so, the General runs away, while Anakin somehow crashes the ship onto a runway and saves everyone onboard, except for Count Dooku, who is lost in the rest of this story, never to be mentioned again. Everyone celebrates, and Anakin runs over to Padmé to make out, and talk about how she's worried about him._

Padmé: Yami, I'm pregnant.

Anakin: This is Star Wars. I'm not Yami, I'm Anakin. Besides, this is a kid's story.

Padmé: Oh? Then why has there been four profanities so far?

Anakin: What the hell are you talking about?

Padmé: SEE!

Anakin: Great. Now it has to be rated different. Way to go, Téa.

Padmé: But this is Star-

_AND SO, Padmé gets cut off, because she's ignorant and fat. Anyways, Anakin has a nightmare of Padmé getting killed by a baby. The horror. Nothing happens for a while, except for some boring, non-hilarious dialogue, and eventually, Anakin seeks help from Palpatine._

Palpatine: Based upon the text above my name, you seem worried about Padmé dying. Also, you're confused about being a Blakeye.

Anakin: I can't believe they had to give it such a low age rating. I mean, I wanted to-

Palpatine: DID YOU KNOW that those who embrace the Dark Side can have powers not to contradict themselves in later dialogue? And, they can influence that midichlorian crap to create life.

Anakin: So, you're trying to imply that my supposed virgin birth was-

Palpatine: And, they can stop people from dying.

Anakin: Like, if you went crazy after playing a violent video game, and went out into the street with a shotgun, shooting people and watching them die?

Palpatine: Pretty much.

Anakin: That's distracting enough that I'll not bother questioning the fact that you know about the Dark Side, and go pick up a copy of_ Grand Theft Auto: San Andreas_.

_About two lines down, Yoda is leading an army of hairy Duel Monsters to fight against the robot Duel Monsters. The scene is obviously referring to the original trilogy characters._

Chewbacca: "Rawr."

_And on another conveniently placed stage, Obi-Wan finds out that General Grievous is really a badass, and hops onto an annoying iguana to find him. Unfortunately, the scene following that was cut due to the loud shrieks of the annoying iguana. But, we now resume at the point where Obi-Wan rides up to General Grievous._

Obi-Wan: I will attempt to destroy you now, without waiting for any of my support troops to arrive.

General Grievous: Are you serious? You've only won the duels you've been in because of the help and guidance Anakin's actor has given you.

Obi-Wan: Actually, I was challenging you to a duel with shiny blue and green toothpicks.

General Grievous: Oh. Well, I can't be destroyed, anyways, so I accept your challenge!

**WILL THE REST OF THIS STORY PLAY OUT AS THE MOVIE? WILL THERE BE MORE LAUGHTER? DOES KAIBA EVER GET THE ROLE FOR MY PARODY OF _SNAKES ON A PLANE_? FIND OUT IN THE NEXT CHAPTER...**

_Oh, and please review. I'd also like suggestions for character roles in the Original Trilogy parodies. Thanks!_


End file.
